


Desidero, Ergo Sum

by leandra1709, theguineapig3



Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:35:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24101431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leandra1709/pseuds/leandra1709, https://archiveofourown.org/users/theguineapig3/pseuds/theguineapig3
Summary: With Estelle finally safe from Alexei’s grasp, Raven thought it only fitting he spend the night behind prison bars. He wasn't expecting company, least of all from Judith, who, in his opinion, deserved far better than a dusty old cell. But it seems she cares less about what she deserves and more about what she wants... and she's VERY adamant about what she wants.
Relationships: Judith/Raven (Tales of Vesperia)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Desidero, Ergo Sum

**Author's Note:**

> (I don't write smut, but my buddy leandra1709 writes it VERY WELL, so I'm super thrilled she was willing to collab with me on this. It was SO much fun, and I hope this self-indulgent piece hits a sweet spot for others too. Thanks for reading! -theguineapig3)
> 
> (Father, forgive me for I have sinned. Mom, don't read this. Everyone else, I hope you enjoy this filth. -leandra1709)

Raven had slept on his fair share of prison cots over the years. They were hell on his back and neck, but he’s grown used to the pain by now and barely gave it any mind. He was an old man living past his expiration date, so regular aches and pains should be a given. But this time the pain felt different. He’d been giving his all to helping rescue Estelle, and now that she was safe, he could properly be punished. And the ache in his neck and back were nothing compared to the residual sting on his scalp where she’d struck him.

He deserved way worse than that, but he’d take it.

After waving Yuri off earlier, he was surprised to hear another set of footsteps approaching. Already half-asleep, Raven figured he’d just pretend not to notice, in hopes whoever it was would turn around and leave him alone. But as the footsteps grew closer, he recognized them- the familiar click of the heels and the confident yet elegant gait. It was enough to encourage him to sit up, and by the time he pulled his aching shoulders off the cot, Judith’s beautiful face peeked from behind the side of the cell.

“Bedtime already? The night is still young.”

Her teasing smile lifted his spirits, and he responded with a smile of his own. “The night may be young, but I ain’t. We old folks gotta retire early, ‘specially after a long day.”

“It has been a long day, hasn’t it?” Judith murmured, her expression turning a shade more serious. She motioned toward the cot. “May I sit?”

“Ya know I can’t say no to  _ you _ , darlin’.” Raven slid to the side and patted the blanket next to him. “But how’d ya know I was here?”

“Yuri told me,” Judith answered, stepping around the bars and making herself comfortable next to him. It was closer than he’d expected her to be, considering how large the cot was. The closeness was both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. What was she planning, anyway?

“So he found you too, huh? What were you guys talking about, that he mentioned me?”

Judith reached for Ba’ul’s charm, fidgeting with it as she replied. “Oh, nothing much. I’ve been trying to contact Phaeroh to ask about Zaude, but I haven’t gotten a reply, so I'm going to try again in the morning. For now, I’d say Estelle is safe. But we can’t let our guard down. We have to succeed tomorrow.” She let out a sigh and then turned to look at him, the levity in her voice returning. “You didn’t come up organically, so I had to ask. Yuri may start to think I’m sweet on you or something.”

Raven put a hand against his chest, feigning surprise. “I thought everybody _ knew _ we were an item.”

“Oh, are we? Everyone knew except me, apparently.”

The two shared a laugh, and Raven elbowed her playfully. “Judith darlin’, if I could be yer man fer even a minute, I could die happy.”

He’d meant it as a joke, but she went silent, the amusement completely vanishing from her face. It was as if he’d flipped a switch, and he shifted back to give her some room as she spoke up again.

“...I’ve been meaning to ask you about that, but things have been so dire lately, I haven’t found the time.”

“About-?”

She cut him off before he could get his question out. 

“How did you survive the collapse at Baction?”

_ Ah. _ That was it. The cell went quiet again as Raven considered how to answer. For a moment, he’d gotten his hopes up that she was referring to the other part of his statement, but now that just felt silly. 

“I, uh,” he began, “ain’t totally sure, ta be honest. I thought I’d get crushed by the ceiling as it came down, but I ended up trapped under some pieces’a debris that caught on each other. Made a kinda tent shape.” He forced a laugh. “When I realized I wasn’t gonna get crushed right away, I was actually kinda mad. I could’a died instantly an’ painlessly back when my heart was vaporized, but instead, I had ta spend another ten years chasin’ after death just ta end up slowly and painfully suffocating in total darkness. It was infuriating… but well deserved, I figured.”

Judith slid her hand over to rest against his. “No one deserves that.”

“Heh, if only.” Raven shook his head. “I was delirious by the time my men dug me out. Once I got ta breathin’ clean air again and realized what was goin’ on, they’d already patched me up too thoroughly to argue with ‘em. The poor souls were cryin’ like babies.”

“Of course they were.” Judith’s grip on his hand tightened. “They care about you.”

That brought a smile to Raven’s face. “I was angry at first. But seein’ the men in such a state made me realize that… this time was different. Back when Alexei saved me, he did because I was useful to ‘im; so he could make me his pawn. But this time, those men didn’t have any reason ta save me. In fact, despite how he seems, Leblanc’d be a shoo-in ta make captain if I were outta the picture. They saved me ‘cause they cared, ‘cause they  _ wanted  _ me ta live. When I realized I had people that felt that way ‘bout me... that some’a  _ you guys  _ might’a felt that way about me too… well, chasin’ death the way I did suddenly seems selfish, y’know?”

Judith grinned at him, but there was still sadness in her eyes. “I’m glad someone finally got through that thick head of yours. I’ll have to thank them later.”

She was still gripping his hand, so he shifted his own grip slightly to bring the back of her hand to his lips for a kiss. “Now, if I didn’t know any better, darlin’, I’d think you’d forgiven me.”

“Forgiveness is a lot to ask, that’s true,” Judith replied, pulling her hand away. “But I can’t very well hold a grudge when it could’ve easily been me in your situation.”

“Whaddya mean?”

Judith paused and then shook her head. “If things had gone differently, I might’ve sold out Estelle to Phaeroh long before you sold her out to Alexei.”

“Wha-?!” Raven’s shoulders went stiff. “Now don’t go sayin’ things like that-!”

“It’s true. You didn’t hear the things I promised Phaeroh. You didn’t hear me swear that, if Estelle were truly a danger to the world, I would kill her with my own hands. I said it because I had to; because if I didn’t, he’d go after her himself. At least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself. But…” There was a pause, and she let out a slow sigh. “I owe my life to Ba’ul, to the Entelexia. For them, I wanted to create the world they sought, to bring balance to the aer by destroying the Hermes blastia no matter how much pain their loss caused humans. It was the same with you and Alexei, wasn’t it? He saved you, and you dedicated yourself to bringing about his vision of a better world.”

“Well-” Raven tilted his head back and forth, trying to figure out the best way to put his thoughts into words. “-I dunno if I’d say I  _ dedicated _ myself. It was more like I just... had no reason  _ not  _ to. I believed in him at one time. Somewhere along the way, I lost that, but I was already in too deep ta turn back. Or I thought I was, ‘til I met you guys.”

“You lived your life without ever thinking.”

“Eh, that’s kinda harsh…”

He blushed and turned away, but Judith grabbed his face and turned it back toward her. Her hands were warm, even through her gloves, and he could feel his cheeks heat up in response. “I wasn’t saying it as an insult. I was the same way. Destroying blastia, never thinking about anything else. Meeting Estelle, meeting all of you, it’s changed the way I view my own life. I’m taking the time to consider my own feelings now.”

Raven’s expression softened and he leaned into her touch. “Yer own feelings, huh? Sounds like me. Livin’ day ta day, I never thought ‘bout the future ‘cause I didn’t think I’d be around for it. Now that I’m stuck in the world’a the livin’, I’ve gotta start thinkin’ long term. Gotta think about what I want.”

Her hands remained against his face. “What  _ do  _ you want?”

“I don’t know.”

“...of course you don’t. Forgive me.” Judith finally lowered her hands, and Raven could swear there was disappointment in her eyes and voice. He reached for her wrists before they got too far.

“I-I don’t know what I wanna do with my life yet,” he stammered, “but if you and the others are willin’ ta put up with me I want you guys in it. I want  _ you  _ in it, Judith. In whatever capacity you’re comfortable with, I just wanna be with you.”

The cell went quiet again, and Raven dropped his grip on Judith’s wrists. She stood up, and for a moment, he was afraid he’d said too much. But she shifted closer, propping herself up on her knees and straddling his lap. He could physically feel his blood pressure shoot up as she rested her hands on his shoulders and looked down at him with an expression that was uncharacteristically affectionate.

“You said that, if I claimed you as mine, you could die happy,” she said, almost in a whisper. “But if I asked you, would you be willing to  _ live  _ happily instead?”

He swallowed back a knot of nervousness in his throat and answered as honestly as he could.

“If I could wake up ta your smilin’ face every morning, I'd be the luckiest man alive. I'd  _ never  _ wanna die.”

Judith’s hands moved closer to the base of his neck, her thumbs tracing circles against his skin. “If that’s true, then... may I ask a very selfish and very  _ foolish  _ favor of you?”

A favor? For  _ her _ ? Raven fought a nervous laugh. “Hit me, darlin’. I'm nothin’ if not selfish and foolish.”

Judith’s eyes met his, and she kept him transfixed as she replied.

“Let me sleep with you here tonight.”

“Sleep with me?” Raven repeated, not daring to get his hopes up just yet. That phrase could mean a lot of things. “In what way?”

“Every way. Literally, figuratively, euphemistically. Take your pick.” Her hands wandered down to his chest, and she gently traced the outline of his blastia through his shirt. “After thinking we lost you, I realized… I realized a  _ lot _ of things. Even having you here with us, with me, the despair hasn't gone away. I want to know you're alive, to feel you alive with every part of my body. I couldn't ask you before now, not with things the way they were. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow- if everything works as it should, we’ll have a million opportunities for this in the future. But I still want you now. Is that something you feel comfortable giving me?”

Well, that was it. She'd officially broken him. Raven could only stare back at her, mouth agape, trying desperately to process her request. “...Judith, I… that's… you’re… it’s… uh…”

Her hands slid back up to his shoulders, and she smiled again. “I'm sorry to spring this on you. If the answer is ‘no,’ that's fine. It means you're thinking for yourself, not letting yourself be manipulated by anyone anymore. And I'll happily accept that if I have to.”

“I-I didn’t mean...” He grabbed her wrists before she could remove her hands. “...it’s just… god, how do I put this?” 

Judith lowered herself onto his lap. “Take your time.”

Having her genuinely sitting on his lap, thighs pressed against his waist, was  _ not  _ helping his thought process. “Y’see, darlin’, as happy as this would make me, this is… it’s just… it’s not… I’m just… I... uh…  _ shit,  _ will ya give me some space? There’s too much blood that’s s’posed ta be in my brain that  _ isn’t _ .”

That comment made Judith laugh. “Yes, I noticed.”

“Don’t gimme that smug grin! I’m tryin’ ta make a point.”

“I assure you, you’re doing a fine job of that already-”

“ _ Judith _ .” Raven interrupted her, squeezing her wrists. “You are an incredible woman. You could… well, you could spend the night in any room in this palace, if ya get my drift. Ya don’t deserve to be stuck in a musty old cell. There ain’t anything for ya here.”

They stared at one another for a moment, and Judith narrowed her eyes. “And why are you so concerned with what I  _ deserve _ ?”

“Because…” Raven’s voice trailed off, but this time it wasn’t because he didn’t know what to say. He knew exactly what he was going to say- he just wasn’t sure if he should say it. “...because I… think I’m in love with you.”

Once again, Judith stared at him rather than answer at first. He’d loosened his grip on her wrists, so she pulled one free and slid her hand under his chin. 

“And because of that, you’re pushing me away?”

“I’m not-”

“I think you should be less concerned with what I  _ deserve _ and more concerned with what I  _ want _ . I did say before, didn’t I? After all these years, I’m finally thinking about my own feelings. And I can assure you, I’d much prefer this… musty old cell… to anything else the palace has to offer.”

Raven swallowed back the lump of emotion growing in his throat as he watched the affection in her eyes. “This…” he began, motioning weakly to their surroundings, “...is s’posed ta be a punishment, yanno.”

“Then-” Judith leaned in, close, pressing her lips to his ear. “-I’ll be happy to punish you if that’s what you want. So. One more time. Let me sleep with you here tonight.”

“And if I say no?”

Judith sighed and slid off his lap, taking a step back from the cot. “Then I’ll thank you for humoring me and leave you to your punishment.” She waved at him as she moved toward the cell door. “Some other time, perhaps.”

“N-no, no, wait! I just said  _ if!  _ I wasn’t actually sayin’ no…”

Judith stopped in the doorway. “If you need some time to think, I won’t rush you.”

“But, uh, what if I  _ want  _ ta be rushed?”

The playful smile on her face as she turned back around sent a flurry of excitement through his chest. 

“Do you think you  _ deserve  _ to be rushed?”

“I think…” he answered, “...that you should be less concerned with what I deserve and more concerned with what I want.”

He barely had time to congratulate himself on his choice of words before she closed the distance between them and pulled him into a kiss.

As she pressed her mouth to his, he put his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. The kissing was messy, they could not get enough of each other. Raven's tongue went into her mouth and was met with hers. Judith sucked on his tongue, then bit his lower lip, eventually sucking on that as well. Raven's heart was beating like crazy. He needed more of her. 

He kissed her lips, then her cheek, and moved to her ear. He slowly ran his tongue across her long ear, earning soft moans and shudders from her. Krityan ears were extremely sensitive. He used his other hand to massage her other ear, biting on the one near his face softly. He felt her body tense up the more he stimulated her ears. She was panting softly and trying to push her thighs together. Was he really going to make her orgasm from touching her ears? 

He ran his tongue close to where her ear met her face and got a squeal out of her. She dug her fingers into his back as her entire body shook, and she gasped heavily. 

Raven pulled back and gave her a sly smile, "Ya like that, huh?" He moved his fingers under her skirt and pressed them against her panties. He could feel a hot wetness dripping through them. She was squirming a bit from him touching her, and he took that as an invitation to rub her soft spot. 

"...I really hope no one comes down here. I want to do some dirty things to you, Judy."

Judith breathily responded, "Everyone is celebrating Estelle's return. They're throwing her a small party. I highly doubt they'll come down here."

"You didn't want to be there with them?"

"Why would I want to be anywhere that you aren't?" 

"Well then," he slowly pulled her off his lap, "Looks like you're all mine tonight, Judy-darlin'." 

She smiled at him, "I wouldn't have it any other way." 

"Ya know this is my territory. A pretty lady like you wouldn't know what it's like to be down here. And since you chose to come down here, I ain't gonna hold back."

"Oh really?" Judith had a sly look on her face, "And what does that entail?"

Instead of using words, Raven decided to show her with his actions. He moved her body so she was on her hands and knees, facing away from him. 

"Oh my, you really are dirty," she had a teasing tone in her voice that drove him crazy. 

He lifted her skirt up and pulled her panties down, letting them rest around her knees. He pushed his face between her thighs and proceeded to stick his tongue inside of her. She was still extremely wet from earlier. He gripped her thighs with his hands and could feel her body tense up again. He ran his tongue up and down her slit, getting lots of noise out of her. His stubble scratched against her skin, which honestly turned her on a lot. 

Raven pushed his tongue lower to rub her clit, his face was extremely wet at this point. He got another orgasm out of her, juices covering his mouth and chin. He sat up and wiped his mouth with his sleeve, "At least I know I'm finally doin' things right."

Judith caught her breath and pouted slightly, "Don't tell me that's all you have for me."

Raven pulled his pants down, erection sticking straight out, "Oh no, Judy. I have plenty more for you." He pushed his hard tip against her thigh. Her wetness made it very slippery, and he easily slid himself inside of her. She gasped and gripped the bed tightly, feeling him go all the way in. 

"...You're so tight, Judy..."

He slowly pulled himself out and pushed back in, hands holding on to her waist. He began rhythmically thrusting in and out of her, feeling complete pleasure from being inside of her body. 

Judith moaned loudly, making completely different sounds than what anyone else would ever hear. Her legs began to tremble. 

Raven slowed down, concerned about her shaking, "Are you okay? Do you need me to stop?"

"Ah, it's just a little hard to stay on my knees like this."

He pulled out of her and had her step down while he made the bed more comfortable with the blanket and pillow. Once it was finished, he looked her up and down.

"Ya know, I'd really like to tear those clothes offa you."

"What's stopping you?" 

Her not-so-innocent question pushed him to kiss her hard. They kissed passionately as his hands made their way under her top, squeezing and caressing her breasts. She helped him undress her, doing all of the complicated unbuttoning and untying. He took a hard look at her naked body, then attached his mouth to one of her nipples and sucked hard on it. He pulled on it with his teeth, then kissed his way down her stomach and put his face between her legs again. He was about to eat her out again, but she grasped his hair and pulled him back up. 

"I want to have some fun, too," she told him, hurriedly unbuttoning the rest of his clothes and pulling them off. She also took a moment to admire his body. He was in good shape, and although he had many scars and the blastia, it did not bother her at all. 

She caressed his face with a hand, and kissed his ear, biting it and pulling on the lobe with her teeth. Raven let out a soft moan as well. She was not the only one who got turned on by ear biting. 

She continued down, kissing his neck and biting it, then down to his blastia. She stroked it with her fingers, then ran her tongue over it. Raven never really felt anything there before, but for some reason, it felt like electric waves went through his body when she did that. She kept kissing his body, finally making her way to his hard erection. 

When she took him into her mouth, his mind went blank. Looking down at her head above his groin was surreal. She expertly slid him deep down her throat, going slowly. He closed his eyes and rested a hand on top of her head. The pace she was going was slow enough to feel like a nice massage, but his climax was building up the longer she kept him in her mouth. 

Raven felt himself getting closer to orgasm and mumbled, "Judy, wait..."

Judith pulled him out of her mouth with an audible pop, "Hmm? Aren't you enjoying this?"

"Ah, yeah. A lot. Maybe too much. Your mouth feels amazin', but I want to be inside of you."

"I can do that."

She laid down again and he put his knees on the outside of hers. He lifted her legs up and put them around his neck. She was flexible enough to be in this position without any pain. He began pumping into her again. Her mouth felt amazing, but the inside of her felt even better. Her insides were hot, wet, and tight, and he was able to look at her beautiful face. Her large breasts bounced with each thrust he made. It was all a great sight. 

He must have been hitting the right spots because she kept crying out in pleasure. He started going faster, feeling her clench up around him. Her back arched and she yelled out his name. That was almost enough to make him climax. He looked at her intensely, "Are you gonna come for me, Judy?"

"I'm... coming, Raven...!" Judith cried out one more time, her body spasming with pleasure. 

This was all he needed to release. He thrust himself in and out of her as quickly as he could, before burying deep inside of her. He grunted as he came inside of her. She could feel him throbbing and pulsing inside of her. 

Once he had nothing left, he slowly pulled out of her and flopped down next to her. "You really... took a lot out of me, Judy." 

"The feeling is mutual," she said, looking over at him and smiling. 

He smiled back and slowly closed his eyes, intertwining his fingers with hers.

They took a moment to clean themselves up and settled back under the blanket, the cool stone beneath them feeling oddly comfortable against their heated skin. Judith shifted so that her head was resting comfortably against his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breath and the comforting glow of the blastia next to her. His skin was warm, full of life- it was exactly what she needed, everything she’d needed since that day at Baction, and she closed her eyes to enjoy every second of it. 

Eventually, his breathing slowed and the pulsing of the light fell into a steady rhythm. Judith propped herself up on her elbow, reaching down to stroke the side of his face. “ _ Asleep already, old man? _ ” she whispered, careful to keep her voice and touch gentle enough not to wake him. Despite her care, however, there was a commotion from outside the cell, near the prison entrance. A hushed trio of voices were arguing amongst themselves, dying down when one shushed the others and called out down the corridor.

“Captain Sch-  _ Raven _ ? Are you still there? Captain, please, you really should return to your quarters! There’s no need for you to stay in a place like thi-”

Judith could hear Leblanc approaching, and had pulled the blanket over her chest by the time he reached the other side of the door. She knew it wouldn’t hide their mutual state of undress, though, especially given the pile of clothes that littered the floor. As expected, once he caught sight of them, his voice cut off and his face flashed red.

Judith gave a friendly wave and motioned to Raven before pressing a finger to her smiling lips. Leblanc nodded and turned stiffly back around, stumbling back down the corridor.

“Leblanc?” one of the voices called from the prison entrance. “I say, your face is terribly red! What is going on-?!”

“I-I was mistaken! He must’ve gone back to his quarters after all!” Leblanc yelled back, and Judith could hear metal boots scraping against the stone floor as though Leblanc were pushing or pulling the others away. “Terribly embarrassing, you know, to yell at an empty cell like that. Let’s just head back to our posts and pretend this never happened.” 

There were protests, but the voices disappeared back into the palace, and Judith sunk back down onto the cot next to Raven.

“...mmm, Judith darlin’?” he murmured, half-opening his eyes. “What’s goin’ on? Is there somethin’ ya need?”

“Nothing,” Judith answered, settling back against his chest. “Go back to sleep.”

“Ya sure?”

She closed her eyes and nodded.

“I already have everything that I want.”

Raven slipped his hand around her waist and pulled her closer.

“So do I.”


End file.
